Meet my Laney

On the 10th September at 7.19am, my husband & I welcomed our second child into the world, our daughter Delaney Isla was born weighing a slight 5pounds 3ounces (2.4kg).

Little Laney came into the world two weeks early after a somewhat exhausting pregnancy for me.
You see, at about 2-3 months pregnant we thought we wouldn't be having this baby. A standard test came back as high risk for something fatal for the baby, so then we waited with baited breath for another month to have a second test to see if the baby would be ok. The test came back as "we think the baby is ok". Think? Are you serious??  So then we waited for another month to have another test and this time they actually said that the baby would be ok - phew! 
So then we started to tell people. Yay!  But then after all that time, I think I was in shock that we were actually going to have a baby, I think I got the baby blues. And then I got bronchitis, ugh and boy, did I get it bad.  
Then we decided to take a holiday, yep at 35 weeks pregnant, we took our the first holiday in two years. We went to Melbourne & took bubba Joe to the zoo, to the aquarium & to the Healesville Sanctuary. Encouraged by Joe's excitement of seeing a elephants, tigers, lions, giraffes, sharks etc, I waddled along slowly cos of the baby belly & slowly cos I was coughing all of the time.  And then we went home. 
The next weekend, I end up in hospital for a stay because my blood pressure had shot through the roof & needed bed rest to see if that would lower it back down. It did. 
But that was only the start of things, firstly, that was the very first night that bubba Joe didn't have me at home - the poor lil sausage was all upset when I talked to him on the phone from hospital, he cried & then of course, I cried.  
Secondly, when my husband bought me home from the hospital, my lovely neighbours had left us chocolate muffins & fresh eggs on our doorstep - so sweet.  
Thirdly, that very night, (the first home from the hospital) I got by very first Braxton Hicks Contraction (false labour pains) and then every afternoon through to bedtime for the next few weeks, I got them every ruddy day. (Not Fair!)  

Then one night after I had done my tax (boring) and some crochet, I gave up and went to bed early because of the constant Braxton Hicks contractions but then of course because of my bronchitis, I had a major coughing fit in bed so when my husband (finally) came to bed at around midnight I told him that I think the Braxton Hicks contractions have changed and perhaps he could time them cos I think we need to see if they are coming at regular intervals. 
They were, every 8 minutes, confused, I rang the hospital who indeed confirmed that they were contractions. So at 2am my husband runs next door to our neighbours to ask them if they wouldn't mind looking after bubba Joe. Thankfully they didn't (like I said before, our neighbours are awesome), by the time hubby had taken over the portacot & a bag of stuff & then a second trip to take my lil boy there... my contractions had jumped from 8mins to 2mins, so he basically threw me into the car & drove like a madman (kind of) to the hospital.  At this point (in the car), I knew the labour was going to be different from Joe's, cos I had already started swearing in the car (I didn't swear once whilst delivering Joe nor did I hit, bite or threaten my hubby in anyway during Joe's birth!).
All of the rest of the labour is a bit of a blur, you see the PAIN was so much that I kind of can't remember it all. Oh, did I mention the PAIN?   You see, with Joe, I had gas then a pethidine shot which kind of made it manageable - it didn't get rid of the pain of child birth but it took the peak off it BUT... the pain with delivering Laney was unbearable.  All I could do was chant  "the pain, the pain, the pain" over & over again whilst pleading with the midwives for a pain killer. They gave me gas but umm, derr, I had bronchitis which I told them & they insisted I try the gas, so I did. I gave it a good suck then spent the next five minutes coughing so I think the midwives got the point that I didn't want the gas when I threw the blasted tube back at them. "The pain, the pain" I chanted again amidst tears & clinging tightly to my hubby, "the pain".  
"Can you hang on until 7am?" One of the midwives asked explaining that the staff shift change would be then. I tried.
"The pain, the pain, the pain" I chanted over & over again. I wanted a pethidine shot for the f@#king pain.  "The pethidine is coming" they said.
I vomited and vomited and vomited.  The midwife was happy that I was vomiting (what!!) at that point I didn't care if the Queen of England would have been ecstatic for me because I was vomiting, I wanted something for the goddamn PAIN!
Exhausted, I lay down on the bed (and by the way, who thought it was a good idea to have a double bed in the labour ward?), "the pain, the pain" was my chant. "It's coming" they promised again - where were they getting it from, Sweden?
And then I saw my husband's arm. So I bit it. And then chanted "the pain, the pain" again. I tried to bite his arm again but moved it out of the way.
"The pain, the pain" "I want something for the pain" 
"It's coming, just hang on in there"
"I want something for the pain, the pain, the pain, the pain"
They then tell me to "Calm myself down, you're distressed, the baby is distressed" (note, I wouldn't have been that distressed if I would have had something for the frigging pain!).
So I huff, puff & try to breathe & ignore the pain.
"Good girl" I hear them say. (arghhhhh, the pain!).
And then after that compliment, it was back to "the pain, the pain" chant again.
At this point, I feel that no-one is listening to me, it felt like I was in a black hole of pain & they were all having a party ignoring me.
And then....
"I have to push"
"What?" The midwives say? "You were only 4cm dilated 5 minutes ago"  They then 'check' 
"Oh they say, that was quick they say, you're fully dilated now"   Geesh, thanks I think! And then back to the "I HAVE TO PUSH".  Then both of the midwives run away from me. WTF? They ran away?  
I then shriek out "where are you going?" And to my husband "Where are they going? I HAVE TO PUSH" (in reality they were rushing off to get the delivery carts etc but I didn't know this!).
Ok, then, midwives run away, I have to push... so I make the decision to damn well push.
So I push & push & push & push & push and there is this slimey little thing placed on my chest. 
My hubby is close to tears, I'm watching the midwives all tear up & then I look & realise it's the baby. 
"Oh" I say, "don't worry about the painkillers now".

Bubba Joe meeting his sister Laney for the first time.

It was a girl, a daughter. I have a daughter.  I wee lil girl, who then in fact does a big piss all over me - welcome to the world Laney, welcome!